The One Leading The Practice is You

Somewhere along the way I started bringing this fear to Yoga that if I didn’t know exactly how something was going to go, there was a chance it could go badly. I started feeling like unfamiliar teachers, classes and poses were reasons I better not practice at all.

I won’t take you through my entire history that made that thought pattern true for me, but it likely stems in part from starting my practice in a class that was specifically Yoga for Scoliosis. Incredible class, just came with the self-stigma that since that extremely special and careful class worked, none of the other more general ones would.

What I’ve gradually learned though in all the time since and all the trainings I’ve taken, all the studios I’ve found at home and on the road, all the just living that happens both good and bad is that– it’s pretty impossible to guarantee you’ll only have perfect, gentle, nurturing, special for you experiences. But it’s definitely possible to ensure you’ll be OK in any practice– because the one leading the practice is you.

That’s the real magic– liberating yourself to be entirely you and carve out the experiences you need no matter what. I go rogue on the regular now in group classes– long child’s poses, different poses all together. It used to make me feel self conscious, now I’ve had people compliment me about this after class, making me feel like a self care bad ass. I also go to classes without the same fear I once held of being like invisibly influenced by exactly what’s going on in the room. I used to feel like my identity was tied to the identity of the class, and if it wasn’t a great class, I didn’t get to be a great Yogi. Now I carry the panache of someone whose presence graces the class and not the other way around. I take what serves me and I leave the rest.

I remember that the one leading the practice of all things is me, and with that knowing there is so much less to fear.

Namaste,

Hannah